Right Kind of Wrong
by tjmack
Summary: When Jacob stops Bella from cliff diving, the events in New Moon change drastically. *Look inside for more in-depth summary*
1. Chapter 1

Right Kind of Wrong

Summary: When Jacob stops Bella from cliff diving, the events in New Moon change drastically. Most importantly, Edward doesn't need saving. Fast Forward five years, after forcing Edward to move back to Forks to reclaim his lost love, the Cullen family soon find out that Bella is no longer living in Forks, and is no longer a Swan. She lives in Florida, with her husband and daughter. What will happen when Bella and her family return to Forks, to spend the holidays with Charlie? What will she do when she discovers that Edward has returned? Will Edward try to win her back, even though she is happily married?

* * *

Chapter One: Prologue

**Bella's POV**

Standing on the edge of cliff I could hear his velvet voice clearly. He was screaming at me, begging me not to jump. I didn't want to listen. I just needed to hear him scream. I needed to think he still cared, that maybe wherever he was, he still loved me. Taking a deep breath, I took a few steps backward. I wanted a good running start, hoping the added speed would help me jump out far enough to miss the dangerous rocks below me. Letting out the breath, I lunged forward, only to be jerked backward and landing on my backside. I huffed loudly, as I scowled.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Jacob's voice was raised.

Obviously I scared him, and I felt awful about it. I looked up, his deep brown eyes and saw fear. Not just any fear though. That look was desperate, eat you alive, fear. His feelings for me where getting out of control, but I couldn't stay away. Even if Victoria wasn't hunting me, I still couldn't stay away. Jacob was my personal sun. He had been the only person to bring me out of my zombie phase. He was the only one that made it easy to even come close to thinking about him without the pain swallowing me whole. I needed him, and I knew it wasn't fair, and that I was hurting him. I'm a selfish person, a dangerous, selfish person, and I was using Jacob to keep my own personal pain away.

"I'm sorry Jake. I was bored--"

"I told you to wait for me Bella. You could have hurt yourself. Did you not see the storm surge?"

As he said the words, he helped me up, and pointed out into the distance. I saw the waves crashing into the shore, and knew that if it wasn't for Jacob, I probably would have been killed. I didn't have a death wish. I didn't want to die. I was actually starting to get back to a—somewhat normal life.

"I didn't—Jake I'm sorry."

This time a few tears slipped from my eyes, and he pulled me into his arms. The warmth that surrounded me made me feel immensely better. I knew if I tried hard enough, and I really threw myself into it—I could fall for Jacob. It wouldn't be difficult, a life with Jacob would be so easy. It wouldn't be the same as it was with—_him_. It wouldn't be as intense, but then again it wouldn't be so hard either. It would be like loving someone—not of the supernatural realm—even if Jacob was part of that world. He's Jacob, he's fun and easy-going. At least most of the time he is.

"Hey—I know spending so much time at the Rez alone isn't fun for you Bella. I get that, but you need to. I have to protect you, to keep you safe. We will catch her Bella, and when we do—then you won't be hanging out alone anymore. I swear it."

"It's not so bad---it's just—when I'm left alone—to think—my thoughts go to places that they shouldn't. You keep the pain away Jacob—without you it's not safe for me to think about some of the things that I do. I'm sorry—I'm hurting you—I'm using you to keep myself sane and it's not fair to you!"

"Hey! I want to be around you. We've had this discussion before Bella. I know where the line is drawn—even if I don't show it sometimes. I know that I can't have more of you than you can give me. I know it Bella, but I still want to be around you. You mean the world to me."

The words hit a spot in my heart, and I felt the tears at the edge of my eyes. I could feel the love he felt for me with each individual word. I knew he wasn't coming back—I knew I would have to move on eventually—why not with my best friend? Before I knew what I was doing, I was leaning in toward Jacob. His lips capturing mine, the kiss was warm and soft. I felt as each part of my body warmed, from my toes up to my fingertips. I knew then that I could—that I was starting to fall for my best friend.

"I know you can't say it back—but I just need you to know. I love you Isabella Swan." his voice was husky and deep, and his brown eyes bore deep into my soul.

* * *

**Edward's POV**

Sitting in my room by myself was starting to wear down my family's patience. They were sick of my sulking. They knew I was in pain—and that I would be in pain for many more years. They just assumed I would go back to at least pretending to live my life—a life at least. I could hear Alice begging me to just go back to Forks. To go and get Bella. To apologize for leaving her. I couldn't though.

'She's miserable too, Edward please.'

"Alice" I growled.

I had specifically told her to stay away from any vision that had to do with Bella. That she needed to live her life without our interference. Obviously she was no longer listening to me.

"Edward--"

"No Alice—do not Edward me." I glared at her, my eyes coal black. I hadn't been out to feed in far too long. Always waiting until I was almost too weak to hunt at all.

"She is miserable. I know you told me not to watch any visions that had to do with her, but I'm accustomed to her. I've been able to block most of them, but some sneak by. She's miserable Edward. You're miserable. Just go back to Forks—we'll come with you. Just please do something. It is hurting us to watch you give up like this. You know Bella wouldn't want this for you. Her heart still belongs to you—you know that is something that you cannot give back to someone that easily!"

"She'll be fine. It's only been a few months Alice. She's human, she'll forget all about me before long. She deserves better than me, better than what I will bring to her life. She deserves to be happy without the risk of constant danger. That is all I will bring to her, and you know it. I will not go back."

Crossing my arms across my chest, my indication that the conversation was over. Alice's face puckered slightly, before she disappeared from my room. I knew this was best for Bella, and I knew that she wouldn't' have made the decision for herself. Sighing, I turned to stare out my window like I did everyday, trying to imagine my life, had I not left Forks. It was the only way I would ever be with Bella now, I'd make sure of that.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Five Years Later

**BELLAS POV**

"Bells, sweetheart, can you grab Lexi from daycare?"

"But Jake" I whine "I have to finish packing."

"Seriously Bella. How long have you known that we're going to visit with our father's for the holiday!?"

"Long enough—but in my defense you knew all my bad habits when you married me."

"Sure, sure, whatever." He smiled my favorite Jacob Black smile at me, and I had kiss his perfectly full lips.

"Mmmhmmm—can't we just stay—kiss a while?" my eyebrow raised seductively.

"With how absolutely wonderful that sounds—and believe me babe it sounds like heaven. You know our dad's will be extremely upset if we don't visit this year. We've avoid Forks long enough."

His words remind me of the day that I packed up my bag. Hand and hand with Jacob, we headed for someplace sunny and dry. Someplace that my memories couldn't follow. Jacob had known the real reason that we left Forks, and the reason that I was scared to death to return. However, to my father, it just appeared that I was avoiding him.

"I know--"

"They're gone Bells. You're father has insured me for the past five years that they haven't returned. I promise you, they won't ever hurt you like that again. Not as long as I'm alive and well. I will never let them do that to you again."

I sighed happily, as I leaned against Jacob. He kissed the top of my head.

"I love you Bells."

"I love you too Jake."

He kissed my lips lightly.

"Now, I'll pack for you—you go get Lexi--"

"Fine." I sigh, smiling softly.

Grabbing my purse and the keys to our small SUV I head out the door.

* * *

Pulling up to the curb of the Little One's Daycare, I see Sarah Jones holding onto Alexandra's hand. Her long flowing black hair and her dark Indian skin color is the only indication that Jacob is her father. Every other feature about Lexi had me written all over it. She even inherited my clumsiness, which upset me at first. Not that I really shouldn't have been surprised. When you have someone as clumsy as me, having children, well those children are bound to pick up a trait or too of clumsiness.

"Momma!" Lexi shrieked once inside the vehicle.

"Hi baby, how was Daycare?"

"I missed you and daddy."

This was her answer everyday that I picked her up from daycare. I watched as Sarah walked slowly around to my side of the SUV, and I knew it meant that Lexi had done something. Whether it was good or bad though, was the answer I was soon to find out.

"Hello Bella, getting ready to head off to see your folks?"

"Yeah, I believe that our plane takes off in a couple of hours. Jake's finishing up the packing as we speak."

Sarah laughed lightly, we have been friends for a few years— since Lexi's been coming to the daycare. She knows that when I say he's finishing up the packing, I mean mine.

"Do I really want to know?" I raise my eyebrow, and glance over my shoulder at Lexi who has dragged a couple of her toys into the front seat and is playing with them.

"Bella—she needs to start school soon. She's too intelligent for just plain ol' daycare."

"Well, we couldn't get her into a preschool, they were all full at the time. She can't start Kindergarten until next year--"

"I guess that'll have to be fine. I mean it though, she's so very intelligent Bella."

"It almost makes you wonder where she gets it from."

Not that I wasn't saying that me or Jake aren't smart. More so though, is that Lexi can already spell small words, recite her alphabet and her numbers. She can almost write her name—not that it's very legible, but still. She isn't even five yet.

"You and Jake are smart--"

"Me and Jake couldn't do the things that our 'gifted' child can."

The words I speak make me thing of them—or well him in particular. It's been nearly three years since I've thought of him. I haven't utter his name, or so much had a dream of him since we left Forks.

"Sometimes things like this happen."

I know as she speaks shes not just talking about how smart Lexi is anymore. Alexandra is the tallest child at the daycare—though most of them are nearly a year younger than her. She's still very tall for her age. She appears to look more like a six year old, than an almost five year old. I know where she gets her size from.

"Though I guess it's no surprise about her height. Jacob is what—seven foot tall?"

She laughs lightly. Only she's not far off. "No—but close—he's six foot seven."

"Seriously? Why have I never asked that before? I mean I know he's near giant status, but I can't believe I haven't asked before."

I shrug, and fake looking at the clock. I'm done talking to her about Jacob and Lexi.

"We really have to go. Jake's gonna wonder where we're at. I'll see you when we get back."

With a small wave at Sarah, I put the vehicle in gear, and we're off.

* * *

**EDWARDS POV**

I know where we are headed, and I am fully against it. I only agree because my constant poor outlook on life has worn about as thin as it can on my family. I don't want to lose the last thing in this world that I care about, so I relent and allow them to take me back to Forks, in an attempt to win back my lost love.

"I have to warn you Edward. Finding her might be difficult. What with your inability to read her mind, and since I've lost the ability to find her future."

"Are you sure she's still---"

"Yes Edward, she's alive—I think."

"Gee Alice, why don't you be a little more descriptive."

"Edward, your sour mood is really starting to wear on my patience."

I notice for the first time that she isn't smile, or cheery—or any of things Alice used to be, before I left Bella and turned into the worlds most depressed vampire.

"I am sorry. I don't mean to bring everyone down." If I could cry, I know I'd be crying right now.

"Edward, sweetheart. It isn't so much that you've brought us down. It hurts us to see you like this. That girl means the world to you. Sweetheart, she means the world to all of us."

I know better than to include Rosalie in that, and Esme changes her tactics after she hears a low rumbling grow coming from Rosalie.

"She is important Edward. Do not feel bad for loving her so—she deserves all the love in the world."

"Thank you Esme--"

I sigh deeply as we come into the town's limits. In no time I will see Bella Swan, and for the first time in five years, I feel almost—happy. If I had a beating heart, it would be going crazy in my chest right now, at just the thought of seeing Bella.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

**Edward's POV**

Standing in front of the Swan residence I can feel the power of my love for Bella overtake me. It takes everything in me to not run up to the front door, pounding on it. Instead I just lurk just out of view, hoping to see some sort of sign of Bella. I've been here for three hours and I've seen no sign of her anywhere. I am worried that maybe the reason that Alice is unable to see her future is because she is gone in every sense of the word. Shoving my hands, my fists, into my pocket I walk slowly up the sidewalk and knock lightly on the front door. I expect nothing but for Charlie to yell, scream, and banish me from his house. Especially if what I fear is true.

"Sheesh Billy, the kids won't be in for--"

His eyes widen when he looked me in the eye. At first I was afraid that he was having a heart attack or something, but I listened closely and heard that his heart was beating correctly.

"Charlie--"

"No, dammit you leave!"

"I can respect that."

"You can respect that!? My daughter hasn't been home for Christmas in five years because of you. I've finally talked her into coming home and you show up! No. Leave. Get out of this town. I swear--"

I put up my hands trying to calm him down. His face was turning a funny shade of purple, and it scared me. I didn't need to be giving Bella's father a heart attack or stroke.

"I will leave Charlie. I just—I need to see her. I need to know she's happy."

"She is, not with any help from you. She's married and she has a daughter. Now, if you'd please leave."

I stood there, staring at him, a look of total shock on my face. She's married and has a daughter. I shook my head back and forth much too quickly. Trying to remove the thoughts from my mind. I shouldn't have come back. I don't want to, don't need to ruin her happiness.

"I am sorry. I will leave now."

With that I stalk back down the sidewalk and climb into the front seat of my Volvo.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

Forks seriously needs to get an airport. This three hour drive in from Seattle is dreadful. Especially since my father, the man that has done nothing but beg us to come out for the holiday's hasn't even uttered one word. He has seemed very distant, like he was hiding something.

"Dad, what's wrong?" I ask, my voice low.

Lexie and Jake are snoring logs in the backseat but I don't want to wake them. They seem so peaceful.

"I don't want to talk about it."

His voice was barely above a whisper, and he mumbled the words together. I still caught the extra meaning behind them and knew that he was hiding something.

"What's going on?"

My voice grew only slightly louder. I still didn't want to wake them, but I wanted him to tell me what was going on.

"He came by. Their back—I think."

I didn't notice that I had started to shake. He was back—why now. Why after five years would he come back. Why did he have to choose the exact time that I was coming back. Why—why—why.

"Bells—you--"

"Yeah fine."

My eyes bore holes into the windshield as I tried to think of a way out of this now that we were actually here.

"When?"

"Today—right before I left to pick you guys up."

"What did he want."

"To see if you were happy. So I told him that you were."

"What—did--he –say?"

"That he was sorry for intruding, and that he was leaving."

"Do you believe him?"

"No."

"Didn't think so."

I wanted to shove my head between my knees to stop my world from spinning out of control. The man that had broken me so badly that I had almost gotten myself killed without realizing it was back in town. Of course he had to choose the exact time that me—my husband—and my daughter were back in town too.

"Your going to stay right? I mean—I guess I wouldn't blame you for leaving--"

"Of course we're staying dad. If he gets too close I'll just have Jake lay down the law for him."

"That is always a good defense."

* * *

**Edward's POV**

Standing right inside of the city limits, just out of view of the moving traffic I spot the Sheriff car drive slowly into town. Bella smiling in the front seat—I growl lowly as I smell what's in the backseat. I wonder if she knows what she's married to. Though, if I wouldn't have left her, then she would have been with me. A vampire. A vicious killer at heart. She knew what I was, she is quite intuitive. I would assume she'd know what she was married to. What when it turned into a giant dog. Still seeing her so happy without me hurt. Not that I don't want her to be happy—I would just rather it be me she was happy with. Sighing I leap off into the woods and bound off toward the house. We will leave. She is taken—she is happy—she has a family. I will not ruin that for her.


	4. Chapter 4

Right Kind of Wrong

Chapter Four

I loathe myself at this very moment. The thought of breaking Bella's happy family up made me sick. It made me feel like the horrid monster that I know I am. I wish I could just disappear, but I won't uproot my family again. So I shall stay hidden in the shadows, in the forest, and in my meadow. I won't ruin her happiness. I won't break her heart again. I realize now that I should have never left her, if I hadn't we would be happy and she wouldn't be married. Then again, I can't give her what she wants. A family, a life that she doesn't have to hide. I want to be with her, I want to love her. However, I will never hurt her like that again.

"Edward. How did it go?"

"Horribly. I told you we shouldn't have come back Alice."

"Oh--what's wrong."

"She's married Alice. She's married and she has a daughter. I will not break them up."

"but--you belong together."

"Maybe. But that was five years ago. When I left her Alice it broke her heart. This guy--he put her back together. How could I justify hurting her again."

"I'll tell you how. Because she still loves you. You know she does."

"Really. She still loves me? Right. Then why hasn't she returned to Forks in five years?"

"Oh, damn. Seriously?"

"Yes Alice, seriously. Now, I won't have you guys move away right now. Not until it's time too. But I will stay hidden at least until she's gone. I won't hurt her."

Alice started to walk away slowly, her head shaking. I knew that she was wanting to come up with some sort of plan because she kept thinking about stuff that would bore the pants off anyone else.

"Oh and alice--don't try anything, or do anything. Do not get involved."

"Wouldn't think of it."

* * *

"Jacob Black!"

"Yes dear."

"what have I told you!?"

"Not sure. You tell me a lot of stuff."

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. When you are a guest in someone elses home, you clean up after yourself. Just because you change into a giant wolf does not give you the right to take advantage of other's kindness."

"I'm sorry babe. I really am."

I sighed as Jacob wrapped his long strong arms around my waist and pulled me into his lap. I giggled louder than I had intended.

"Shhh, your gonna wake up Alex."

"Sorry," I tried to stifle my giggles.

"I love you Bells. With all my heart."

"I know Jake. I love you too."

And I did. I loved Jacob Black with all my heart, but at the same time I couldn't help the intense pull I felt to find Edward Cullen. Even if not to get back together with him, it would be to ask one simple question. Why. Why had he left me. I couldn't believe after all these years that he had really left me because he didn't want me. If that was infact true, then why had he come back. After all these years why had he returned to Forks at the same very time that I had?

"Where's your head at?" His hands rubbing my arms.

"He's back Jake."

"Who--shit!"

"Jacob Black, you watch that mouth." I sighed, could I really blame him for freaking out?

"Sorry babe. I just--why now?"

"I don't know. But I don't think I care. I mean, he's been out of my life for five years. I'm with you. I love you. So why would I care?"

"Bella, babe, you don't have to lie to me. I know better. I know that you love me--but you love him too. You always have, your just damn good at hiding it. Am I thrilled that you love another man--and that said man is back. No, I'm not. But I trust you. I don't trust him--damn nasty stupid bloodsucker, but you I trust--"

I put up a finger up to signal to give me a minute. His words had brought happy, joyful tears to my eyes. Though they also made me feel bad for having feelings for Edward still. I opened my mouth to say something to him, but my cellphone rang.

"Hello."

"Bella, I know you probably want nothing to do with me, but can you please meet me for dinner tonight?"

"Uh--sure?"

My voice cracking and wavering. I couldn't believe the voice I was hearing on the other end of the phone. I wanted to almost scream.

"Thank you Bella. You won't regret this, I promise."

With that the other end of the line went dead.

"Who was that?"

I just stared at Jacob, unable to answer his question.

* * *

"Alice--can we go to dinner tonight?"

"That's weird--you never ask me to go places with you. Not--sulky you anyways."

"I know, I'm gonna try to be better I swear. Please?"

I smiled at her as best I could. I was getting better at hiding the pain. Though when you've had years of practice you learn quickly how to hide things from your family. Such as gut-wrenchingly horrible wanna kill yourself pain.

"Dinner--sounds awesome. Mind if I bring a date?"

"Jasper's back? Sweet, of course."

With that I sauntered out of the room, keeping the fake smile plastered on my face. I was going to show my family that I could move on from Bella, even if that was a bitter lie. I could never move on from Bella. She will always claim my heart, that is one fact that will never change.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

I turned in the mirror five times before deciding that my khaki skirt and flowered blouse was as nice as I was going to look. I wasn't sure why I was dressing up. Was I trying to impress Alice? No, that was definitely not the reason. I knew if I really admitted to myself the reason I was dressing up as nice as I could, that I might scream or pull my hair out. So instead, I decided that yes, I was trying to impress Alice. Even though I knew that even if in the last five years I had gotten bit by the girlie shopping bug that even a vampire like Alice had, I wouldn't impress her. Hell, she shopping in expensive French stores.

"You look beautiful Bells."

Jacob nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. I sighed audibly. Apart of me might still have feelings for Edward Cullen, but I was undoubtedly in love with Jacob Black. No matter what happened now or in the future, Jacob would always be right there beside me. I knew better than to go to this meeting with any hopes that Alice planned on being friends for a lifetime. So I would come home and let Jake pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

"Your being awfully good about this. I figured you'd have a fit, what with me going to meet a Cullen."

I raised my eyebrow. Like I'd lie to Jacob about who I was going to meet. He grimaced slightly at the mention of the last name. Being a werewolf, he had an enormous amount of hate for any vampire. Even the 'good' ones like the Cullens who wouldn't harm a human if at all possible.

"I know that it's something that you need to do. Am I happy that your going out with a bloodsucker? No, not at all. At least the Cullen's are more trustworthy as far as your safety than any other bloodsucker would be."

"I promise. I won't be any later than an hour. Tell Alex goodnight for me."

"I will. I love you Bells. I'll be right here when you get back."

"I love you too Jake."

I kissed him softly on the lips before grabbing my jacket and leaving the house. I was on my way to a meeting that could devaste me beyond repair, and I was going alone. I felt like I might puke at any moment.

* * *

"You know Alice, it's just now dawned on me. Why are we going to dinner? We don't eat."

"I know that silly. But our dinner guest does. So I figured it might be a little inconsiderate to not think of our guest. Even if we don't eat that fowl food."

"Alice, should I be frightened by what you just said. You better not have--Alice! How could you?"

"Edward. You don't deserve to hurt for all eternity over one dumb mistake. You deserve at least some closure--now shush, our guest has arrived."

I turned my head in the direction that Alice was peering in and I was taken aback. Standing just inside the front door of the resturant was a completely grown up, rapturously beautiful Bella Black. My lips curled at the thought that she belonged to another man, especially knowing what that man was. Werewolf. It was like a stale bad taste in my mouth. Like I had tried to eat human food.

"Bella."

Alice's wind chime voice broke me out of my reviere, and I watched as she almost floated towards our table. The smile, that I knew instantly was her fake, I'm trying to be nice, was plastured on her face in an almost painful way. She didn't want to be here, just as badly as I didn't want her to be here.

"Alice."

She glanced at me, but didn't even acknowledge that I sat before her. She sat down in the booth with Alice, and stared at her hands. I hated myself, and my sister, almost equally. I hurt her so badly, so deeply, so long ago. Alice hurt her now, bringing her here. Making her see me.

"Bella, how are you? I hear your married?"

"yeah, he's great."

"do you love him?"

"with everything in me."

"I'm gonna go."

I stood up, gave Alice my best version of angry eyes that I could, with the pain that was searing through my body. If I had a beating heart, it would be broken in a million pieces.

"Please Edward, stay."

I stopped instantly and turned back toward the table. I couldn't keep the look of shock off my face. Bella was looking directly at me, and she was speaking to me.

"I am hurting you all over again. I won't cause you anymore pain."

"I need for you to hear this. Not to be mean, just so you know."

"Of course."

I sat back down, and kept my eyes downcast. I didn't wanna upset her anymore than I already had.

"I am married, and I do love my husband. He's amazing, and such a great father. I love my daughter with everything in me. She's like a gift from god. Yes you hurt me Edward. Badly, and for the longest time I thought that I would never fully heal from the pain. Then Jacob was there, and he just brought a brightness in my life--"

I could feel my anger bubbling at the very top, and I didn't know why. She was happy, that's what I wanted isn't it? Yes, it's exactly what I wanted. I just didn't want her to be happy with that--that--mutt!

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS?"

My voice wasn't loud, but it was demanding. I'd only used this tone with Bella once or twice. She knew it instantly, and she sat straight up.

"Yes."

"and your okay with that? With what he is?"

"I'm okay with what you are. Your what, a souless monster? A vampire?"

Her voice was low, I could tell she wasn't doing it to be mean, no she was doing it because I was being mean. I deserved for her to be plenty more mean to me.

"at least I don't turn into a filthy dog."

"No, you just disappear for five years, and only come back when I find my happiness. Screw you Edward. That's what I really want to say to you. That I'm glad you left. I found happiness with Jacob, and I could careless if you where here, there, or stuck in a dark, damp hole in the ground."

With that, I watched her almost saunter out of the resturant. I turned toward Alice, a fire burning in my eyes.

"That was uncalled for."

Then I too stood up and walked out of the resturant.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I didn't forget about this one. I've had a crapload of computer issues, and then I lost inspiration to write at all. I finally got around to updating though, and I really feel the story now. **

* * *

Chapter Six

Watching Edward pace back and forth was painful, knowing I was the one that had caused his pain. I hated Bella's husband and I didn't even know him, and what's weird is that I'm not one that hates anyone. Yet here I sit, unable to keep my eyes off my brother, as his unbeating heart breaks right in front of me. I know he feels bad about yelling at Bella, and I know that her words are eating a hole inside of him. I now know that it was a bad idea to return to Forks, and I know that my brother, no matter how much pain he's in won't ask our family to move again.

"Alice, stop staring."

His voice wasn't more than a whisper; any human wouldn't be able to hear the anger in his voice. I choke on our vampiric dry sob, as I glide to my feet, stopping just in front of my brother. His golden honey eyes bore holes through me. He's still angry, and given what I've put him through, he's entitled to it.

'_Edward, please. Think clearly.'_

"I can't. Look I refuse to make you or anyone else leave again. I won't be a burden on my family. I however, must leave. I don't trust myself Alice. I can feel the anger, the hositily, I want to kill him. I want to rip his throat out. If I stay here I just might."

'_I don't see you doing anything—then again I can't see Bella either….'_

"You can't see that wolf, can you?"

'_He's blocking my visions.'_

"See, so even if I did plan on killing that-_mutt_ you wouldn't see it before hand."

I didn't say anything, there was nothing I could say. He was right. If he stayed and I couldn't see him going to kill or hurt _Jacob_ then I couldn't stop it. I looked at him, I could feel the dry tearless sobs that he could obviously see.

"I do love you Alice, you're my sister. I'm not mad at you anymore-not really."

He leaned forward and hugged me to him and I felt my non-beating heart break. I was losing my brother, and I had lost my best friend. Someone I had once considered a sister, a part of the family. If I wasn't lying to myself, I still think of her that way. Even with all the hurt she has caused Edward.

"You should talk with Esme."

I could see that the thought of leaving our mother was painful for him. Knowing that it would hurt her, but he didn't have a choice. Not knowing that he could keep his cool enough to not kill Bella's husband.

'_Edward.'_

He paused, but didn't turn toward me. Good, I didn't want to see his face when I _spoke_ these next words.

'_I love you.'_

I shall his shoulders slump as he left me alone. I opened the nearby window, crouched and launched myself from it. I couldn't be there when he spoke to Esme, the pain that would cause was too much. I had to go see someone, talk to her.

* * *

I woke up, the night before a hazy, tangled mess.

"Good morning."

"Why is my head all-fuzzy?"

"Do you not remember getting hammered last night?"

With his words it all came back in such a force that I thought I might fall off the bed. Seeing Alice and Edward. Yelling at him for what he said about Jacob. Storming out, and being so pissed off that I stopped at the liquor store on the way back to Charlie's.

"You okay Bells? Your kinda pale."

"I feel sick."

It wasn't from my hangover, or not mostly. No, I felt sick because I saw the pain in his golden honey eyes. The pain that was so deep that it caused my heart to break for him. How stupid can I be? He hurts me, and obviously doesn't feel one bit of pain from it. Then he finally decides that he wants me, and finds that I'm married with a daughter, and it pains him, which pains me. It makes no sense.

"Do you want me to help you to the bathroom?"

"No, I'll be okay. It'll pass."

As I spoke the words, I knew I wasn't talking about the nausea but the feelings that were fluttering around in my stomach. I was letting myself _feel_ for Edward again. I was letting myself _want_ him again. Why was I such a stupid person? Why would I want to risk ruining my marriage, and hurting Jacob?

"Babe, you really look pale. I'm worried. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Really—"

My speech got interrupted by a low knock on our bedroom door. From the look on Jacob's face, one of the Cullens was in the house. I knew it wouldn't be Edward, not this soon after I hurt him. It was Alice, I could almost feel it. Like I was still attuned to them after all these years.

"Come in."

My dad stood just outside the door. His face was hard as stone. Even though he loved Alice, he blamed her, along with the rest of the Cullens for the painful years of my past.

"Alice is here."

I shook my head and stood up from the bed. Jacob was at my side in an instant.

"I don't like this. Obviously last night did not go well."

"It wasn't Alice Jake."

Shit, had I told him Edward had been there? His face turned into a scowl, and he looked like he might be growling if he were in his wolf form. That was an obvious no.

"He was there."

He spoke through gritted teeth, his hands were shaking. I grabbed a hold of one of them.

"Calm down. Yes Edward was there. I told him I loved you and wanted him out of my life. Then I left."

"Just go Bella. Go talk to your bloodsucker."

"Jake."

"Go."

I bowed my head trying to hide my tears as I made my way out of our room. I took the stairs two at a time, hoping I wouldn't have a klutzy moment and fall down them.

"Bella—oh no."

The hurt in her voice only made me cry more. My heart was broken in two ways, and in that moment I realized that I was still in love with Edward Cullen—really in love with him.

Alice's arms wrapped around me and I felt safe.

"You just sit here with me, and you cry."

I didn't need any more invitation than that. I let the tears fall. My marriage was falling apart. I could tell by the tone in his voice. By the way he acted like I was picking the Cullens over him. Jacob was turning against me, and I was turning to the wrong 'people'. At least according to Jacob.

"He's going to leave me."

"Yes. He is."

I realized as she spoke that she wasn't talking about Jacob. She probably wouldn't have cared much if he left me, besides the fact that it would hurt me. No, she was talking about Edward.

"It's five years ago all over again."


End file.
